but it is...

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A large scale cruelty has taken place in Pollachi in such a way that brings into the mind of the people the sexual assault case once thought about it. It is still unbelievable that this could happen even in TamilNadu. While watching the reports pouring in, we should have to believe that such barbarians are there. But they should not be compared with animals as the male species should never think of harassing its counterpart while colluding for sex.

In recent times, love marriages are widely being recognized. For these too, there is a lot of resistances, and menacingly honor killings are also being executed. What should be the response of the parents for these cruelties, who are clamoring cultural decay by adult man and women by courting marriage through love? Aren’t the perpetrators of the cruelty a son to a mother or younger or elder brother to a sister in a family? So those violence starts from within the family. The way male children are brought up is the cause of all these miseries. He is made as a “don” by repeatedly being exalted before him.

Likewise, female children are made to prettify themselves right from their childhood. They are made to grow “woman” instead of a child. The girls growing up so, tend to keep attracting men as their prime duty and adorning themselves during their adolescent period.

By raising the children so, people put an invisible screen among them. From their very first day in the school at the age of three, even the learned teachers make them sit gender-wise. The sexual issue begins then. If they are made to sit on the alphabetic pattern or based on height, the chance for the development of a good relationship will be there without gender prejudice. Not only that, they may turn into close friends sharing their physical changes that are cropping up and mental stress. It can be confidently said that they will be good lovers capable of planning their life in a proper way and good parent even if their bonds turn out to be love.

A Head Master would ask “Why such a demarcation like Boys’ and Girls’ school has been made? Boys happen to hold up in front of Girls’ school once the bell is ringed up”. That is true. As stated above, if all the schools are made coeducational, and students are directed to gender-mingling sitting, the attitude of fervent looking at girls by boys and girls obsessed with beautifying themselves can be changed, and they can be recast into good students.

Group discussion can be conducted among male and female students at higher school and College level. They can be made to express their opinions on daily events and familial relations in a span of half an hour in a class. This would make a chance for some of the students to know the world. Without stuffing them with lessons, if half an hour allotted for life education, they will settle down mentally, which will make them fresh to listen to lessons in the next classes. But, we are making them psychic patients.

Parents are decrying that both male and female are committing a grave offence by honoring friendship and becoming acquainted. At the same time, what would be a state of mind of the young men if a chunk of porn videos got piled up on the internet? But not all are of such kind.

The guys being brought up in lavish and mighty family may do anything of their wish. On the presumption that somebody will rescue them, they set in their life goal as being delightful and making their friends happy without having a tinge of worry for wounding fellow woman both physically and mentally.

In respect of Pollachi incident, the affected women were accused of being so courageous so as to proceed with the culprits, in consequence of it, their familial honor was gone; they were also accused of merely shedding away “Chastity”, they parted with them, which was their grave fault.

In fact, a girl moves to a place as invited by her beloved one who remains benign so far. Even if their sexual urge was gratified at their meeting, there is no problem till that point. Sexual gratification of an adult male and female is natural. There is no need for any third-party intervention. There is no problem for them, including their parents. If someone makes a video of the intercourse, his wickedness starts there. Apart from that, while she is threatened by showcasing the video, she understands the slip. The act was committed by both; if it is considered as a fault; it was an act of complicity.

What is the reason behind the threat by him with haughtiness and her outcry with a guilty conscience? The social structure is the reason behind a man being insensitive to the offence perpetrated by him and a woman being remorseful for committing an unpardonable act. The belief that both the family members and the neighbors will disgustingly talk of her and that she could not come out of her home prevents the affected women from divulging the truth.

Shall the person who filmed it be idle after finding the girl being afraid and submissive? He is in celebration mood. Rich guys usually have friends with servitude and instigating nature. Not only bragging of his act with them, but he has also frightened the affected woman that if the video was not to be circulated, she should cohabitate with the persons of his choice. Such a person should not be considered as human.

In fact, his friends made a video of the act. He executed this act with friends with proper planning. At the outset, their act was easily consummated, and then their hunt continues. Consequently, they lured the girls and involved them for their sexual urge and intimidated them with videos.

Their brutality continued so with the demand that they should extort money if they are rich or should compel them for sex with their choice. It becomes obnoxious once we come to know that girls who were non-compliant were beaten with a belt and subdued then for sex.

Nothing is going to change by merely talking about these brutal men and by severely punishing them. Women would change. For lacking courage for exposing the truth, they were drawn to their whims and fancies and finally committed suicide. How many of them did commit suicide such a way? We don’t know.

That an expert committee with its 28 members has stepped into action for the Pollachi victims is a comforting one. The committee has informed that secrecy of information gathered from the victims will be kept, and the information will be submitted before CBI during the investigation. Besides, the committee has added that it can be contacted over crimes committed against women and children anywhere in Tamilnadu.

In the days to come, parents should talk to their adult children regardless of gender regarding the sexual attraction blossoming at that age. Moreover, they should be taught to respect fellow humans, either male or female and be helpful with friendliness.

If someone sexually assaulted and frightened women with the fallout of releasing a video of their intimacy, they should boldly resist the friend-turned-foe. Women should toss out the burdens such as Chastity and Family Honor thrust upon their head and should talk to the perpetrators that they did not commit any mistakes except taking him as a friend. Women should talk to them that they should be punished for their acts and their body is not for anybody’s business and should challenge them to do anything they can. Or they could contact the 28-member committee directly or over the phone. Timely help will be available as the committee is consisting of psychiatric and lawyer.

Women! even in the 21^st century, live your life for you and your happiness!

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Written by Vasuki

Translated by Sunandha Suresh

(This article was published in a Tamil Magazine 'Kaattaaru', March 2019)

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